"Choose your love, Love your choice"

As i was growing up i was surrounded by friends who had both parents in the home...i lived a different path which was the path i know God wanted for me. I did envy those who on Fathers day would have to go and spend time with their dads i did not have a father to celebrate with. But thats nothing big. I was ok. growing up in Philadelphia and going to a public school i found that going to school with other kids, there were those who didn't have both parents in the home. So many single moms not many fathers in involved. As i became a young adult i started to see men walking their kids around the neighborhood it was a rare sight to see but i appreciated those moments knowing that the father was trying the best he could. 

As i grew up i remember when hip hop started to come into my life. i thought it was weird and all they did was talk in a fancy way.  but i came from a different upbringing and neighborhood so the life style that came with the music was something different. I would listen to the lyrics some good some not so nice but my eyes were opened with sadness but understanding to this world of "hard knocks".

Men feeling like that they ruled the world...feeling they could do anything and didn't need to be tied down by a woman..it wasn't manly to be whipped to be hooked onto a fishing line, to be wrapped around a woman's finger..it was weak. women feeling like they didn't need to tolerate such behavior and could "Do all bad by myself" attitude.. So where do they come together, mutual ground, where is the sacrifice, the compromise..both became hard headed..no budging and who loses. the child.

There became a trend of single mothers and baby daddies. The relationships of the past was old school. living in the moment was more important then living for the future. Where does this madness stop? Have men become too tough too love a woman the way she needs. have women become insensitive and not understanding of mans behavior.

The world wants to tell us that we shouldn't take anyones crap and that we can mistreat each other however we want.

So divorces are they all on infidelity, money? no Divorce is selfish and in the end its because someone forgot how to love the other with all their heart mind and soul.

Recognition, to be seen

So often we hear of a husband wondering and confused on how his wife just up and left. No clue how for so many years she could not say anything and one day leave.
Did he neglect to see her. When she would bare her heart to him about life, kids, work, did he listen. Was he over baring. did she distance herself. resulting in a marriage that started with two best friends ending with two strangers. there are so many factors in how a marriage can end..but i think the most important aspect is that either one or both have forgotten who they were and forgotten each other. below are exerts from two different talks about how to love in marriage..funny how most of it is emphasized on directing the husband. but in the end its us letting ourselves become influenced by the adversary letting him convince us to live with the attitude "YOLO" instead of preserving what we have now so when its time to go to our kingdom and we call to our spouse will they come running or will they go a different road and be without each other for all eternity....


So men don't hurt these women...toughen them up and make them think "they could do bad all by themselves" but have women desire to be with her best friend and to be able to feel confident recognized and seen....



Elder Nelson says. “Be considerate and kind in the tender intimacies of your married life. Let your thoughts and actions inspire confidence and trust. Let your words be wholesome and your time together be uplifting. Let nothing in life take priority over your wife—neither work, recreation, nor hobby.” ~Todays family:Love your wife

Elder James E Faust "No man can become completely adequate or function responsibly without help from others. Of course too much help or the wrong kind of help stifles and is counterproductive. But at the heart of human adequacy is self-esteem, which is fed by rich, life-giving love, confidence, and caring of others. This support can come richly from family and friends. But for men it comes mostly from their wives." ~Brethren Love your wives

"Consequently, there is no higher commitment for any man than to be loyal to his commitment to his God and faith, to his wife and family. The reciprocating fruits from keeping that commitment will usually give him boundless sustaining love and the challenge to reach deep down inside himself and call forth the seeds of the finest of his gifts for their full flowering. He will enjoy a place of honor, dignity, and respect."

"The relationship between husband and wife is the linchpin in the whole family relationship. I am sorry that I have come so late to a fuller appreciation of the extent of the needs of our wives and womenfolk for love, appreciation, companionship, and recognition. These needs are great, they are constant, and they need to be frequently met. Kindness and courtesy do not begin in the professional office—they begin at home."

here are the talks if you would like to read in full

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1981/07/brethren-love-your-wives?lang=eng

http://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/love-your-wife